KERRY J HECKMAN, LICSW
  • Blog
  • About
  • Therapy & Groups
  • Resources
  • Writing
  • Poetry
  • Speaking
  • Contact
  • Disclaimer

Tuning In 9.27.2021

9/27/2021

0 Comments

 
Each week I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:
September 28th, 2021 - Voter Registration Day 
September 29th, 2021 - National Coffee Day 

September is National Suicide Awareness Month and National Self-Care Awareness Month 

Ideas for Grounding: Take time off work. If you have the privilege of being able to take time off work, allow yourself to step away. Even if it is just for one or two days. The work will get done when you return. I'm taking this week off work to reground and recenter. 

Ideas for Connection: Something that has become popular during the pandemic is Netflix parties. There's a website called Teleparty that allows a group of people to sign into their individual Netflix accounts (or other streaming services) and then watch a show at the same time. There's a feature on the side that allows you to chat throughout the movie. It's a great way to connect when you don't feel like getting webcam ready. 

Ideas for Creating Vitality: Even though the leaves on the trees are dying and falling to the ground, fall is a season of vitality. In many of the conversations I've had recently people tell me, "I love fall." There's a familiar scent in the air and stoops fill up with colorful pumpkins. Find energy in the changing of the seasons and the mysterious magic of fall. 

Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. In other words, it's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
A boat off the shore at Seahurst Park in Burien, Washington

What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD & Oprah Winfrey

"Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry discuss the impact of trauma and adversity and how healing must begin with a shift to asking 'What happened to you?' rather than 'What's wrong with you?'" 

Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

My Somatic Transformation consultation group is re-reading this book and doing a study group. Every time I pick up this book, I discover something new. 


What I'm Reading for Fun: I just finished The Last Season by Eric Blehm, "Randy Morgenson was legendary for finding people missing in the High Sierra. Then one day he went missing himself."  It's the story of a missing back country ranger and the search and rescue operation to find him. What will stay with me is the descriptions of the barely touched expanse of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. 

Up next I'm starting The Bowl of Light by Hank Wesselman, PhD. 

"Ancestral Wisdom from a Hawaiian Shaman" 

(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not change weekly.) ​

TV Show or Movie I'm Watching: Metal Shop Masters on Netflix. 

Song on Repeat: 
"Beautiful" by Carole King 
​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
The beach at Seahurst Park in Burien, Washington

Poem: 

Conversation in Isolation
Harryette Mullen 

Neighbors nail the planks
dividing their yard from mine.
Our durable fence.

I walk half a block
before realizing I’ve
forgotten my mask.

One ant following
another, trusting we all
are going somewhere.
​
Stretched between two poles,
clothesline outside my window,
a robin’s rest stop.

Lemons fallen on
the sidewalk to be rescued
for my potpourri.

No one and nothing
touches me but this blue wind
with cool caresses.

Meme of the Week: 
Picture

Quote that is Inspiring Me: “As water takes whatever shape it is in, So free may you be about who you become.” - John O’Donohue 

​I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.  ​
0 Comments

Tuning In 9.20.2021

9/20/2021

0 Comments

 
Each week I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:
Facilitating: Center for Chronic Illness - Parenting Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday September 21st, 2021 at 2:30pm PST, Living with Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday September 21st, 2021 at 4pm PST
September 22nd, 2021 - Autumnal Equinox (first day of fall) 
September 26th, 2021 - National Pancake Day 
September is National Suicide Awareness Month and National Self-Care Awareness Month 

Ideas for Grounding: This Tweet (below) spoke to me. Mindfulness and grounding are interconnected. We can't have one without the other. Something was can do to encourage mindfulness is to learn to identify when our brain is filling in the blanks.

These are the stories we tell ourselves; they are always incomplete and almost always untrue. Identify what you actually know about the situation and what parts of the picture you are painting for yourself. Do this in a loving way, as this is an automatic process and not something you are doing on purpose. Overtime this will become a skill you can use to help ground yourself in what you really know. 
​

When we see an incomplete picture, our brain automatically tries to fill in the blanks.#mindfulness

— Everyday Mindfulness (@MindfulEveryday) September 13, 2021

​Ideas for Connection: As we know, many people adopted pets during the past year and a half, because they were searching for additional connection in a time of isolation. Our connection with our animals is undeniable and one of the greatest resources we have for connection. In your extra moments this week, love on your pets. Notice how your feel when you give them extra belly rubs or stay sitting a little longer when they curl up next to you.
Picture
Scooter after he got stuck in the couch

Ideas for Creating Vitality: It's a sunny fall day today in Seattle. We won't have many more like this before the rainy season. The sun is an instant source of vitality for our nervous systems. If you are able, spend a few minutes outside today. Remember, when you lack vitality, it can be difficult to go outside. Instead, find a sunny spot in your home, or spend a few minutes looking outside and notice how the sun illuminates all the colors.  

Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. In other words, it's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
Great Blue Heron at low tide in Puget Sound

​What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD & Oprah Winfrey

"Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry discuss the impact of trauma and adversity and how healing must begin with a shift to asking 'What happened to you?' rather than 'What's wrong with you?'" 

Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

My Somatic Transformation consultation group is re-reading this book and doing a study group. Every time I pick up this book, I discover something new. 


What I'm Reading for Fun: The Last Season by Eric Blehm 

"Randy Morgenson was legendary for finding people missing in the High Sierra. Then one day he went missing himself." 


(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not change weekly.) ​

Song on Repeat: "Fire and Rain" by James Taylor 

TV Show or Movie I'm Watching: The Great British Baking Show 
​​​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
Lincoln Park in West Seattle

​Poetry: 

My close friend died a week ago today from COVID-19. She had just turned 40 years old. This poem is dedicated to her. 

On the Death of the Beloved 
by John O'Donohue 

Though we need to weep your loss,
You dwell in that safe place in our hearts,
Where no storm or night or pain can reach you.

Your love was like the dawn
Brightening over our lives
Awakening beneath the dark
A further adventure of colour.

The sound of your voice
Found for us
A new music
That brightened everything.

Whatever you enfolded in your gaze
Quickened in the joy of its being;
You placed smiles like flowers
On the altar of the heart.
Your mind always sparkled
With wonder at things.

Though your days here were brief,
Your spirit was live, awake, complete.

We look towards each other no longer
From the old distance of our names;
Now you dwell inside the rhythm of breath,
As close to us as we are to ourselves.

Though we cannot see you with outward eyes,
We know our soul's gaze is upon your face,
Smiling back at us from within everything
To which we bring our best refinement.

Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones.

When orchids brighten the earth,
Darkest winter has turned to spring;
May this dark grief flower with hope
In every heart that loves you.

May you continue to inspire us:

To enter each day with a generous heart.
To serve the call of courage and love
Until we see your beautiful face again
In that land where there is no more separation,
Where all tears will be wiped from our mind,
And where we will never lose you again. 

​Meme of the Week: ​
Picture

​Quote that is Inspiring Me: "We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to." - Brené Brown

I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.  ​​
0 Comments

Tuning In 9.13.2021

9/13/2021

0 Comments

 
Each week I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:
Facilitating: Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Thyroid Eye Disease Support Group Saturday, September 18th, 2021 at 9am PST
September 15th, 2021 - First Day of Hispanic Heritage Month
September 18th, 2021 - Puppy Mill Awareness Day 
September is National Suicide Awareness Month and National Self-Care Awareness Month 

Ideas for Grounding: Have you heard of the Transformational Touch Technique? Neither had I. It was created by life coach, Cynthia Garcia (I wanted to give her credit even though I couldn't find any links to her online). I did find this video of Amber Stewart walking us through the steps. I tried it and found it to be calming and a good exercise for down regulation when feeling activated. 

Ideas for Connection: As the pandemic continues we can continue to feel isolated. But that pandemic has also increased the number of support groups that are available online. If this is something you think you may be interested in, check out the platform Hey Peers. The majority of the groups are for people with chronic illness or mental health issues. I facilitate groups provided by the Center for Chronic Illness, which are all led by professionals. I can't vouch for the groups not affiliated with CCI, but wanted to share as a potential resource. 

Ideas for Creating Vitality: A good word to think about when wanting to increase vitality is "novelty." Going to new places, doing new things, or even trying a new hair color stimulates the brain. Even if it is something that is just slightly unfamiliar, like driving down a different street, we can create vitality through novelty. There are unlimited things to experience in this world, so there is always an opportunity to try something new. 

Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. In other words, it's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
"Luna Girls" statue by Lezlie Jane in Seacrest Park, West Seattle

What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD & Oprah Winfrey

"Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry discuss the impact of trauma and adversity and how healing must begin with a shift to asking 'What happened to you?' rather than 'What's wrong with you?'" 

Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

My Somatic Transformation consultation group is re-reading this book and doing a study group. Every time I pick up this book, I discover something new. 


What I'm Reading for Fun: The Last Season by Eric Blehm 

"Randy Morgenson was legendary for finding people missing in the High Sierra. Then one day he went missing himself." 


(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not change weekly.) ​

Song on Repeat: "How Far I'll Go" by Auli'i Cravalho (from Disney's Moana) 

TV Show or Movie I'm Watching: Ted Lasso on Apple TV 
​
​​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
Seacrest Ferry Dock in West Seattle

​Poetry: 

Invisible Work
by Alison Luterman 
 
Because no one could ever praise me enough,
because I don't mean these poems only
but the unseen
unbelievable effort it takes to live
the life that goes on between them,
I think all the time about invisible work.
About the young mother on Welfare
I interviewed years ago,
who said, "It's hard.
You bring him to the park,
run rings around yourself keeping him safe,
cut hot dogs into bite-sized pieces for dinner,
and there's no one
to say what a good job you're doing,
how you were patient and loving
for the thousandth time even though you had a headache."
And I, who am used to feeling sorry for myself
because I am lonely,
when all the while,
as the Chippewa poem says, I am being carried
by great winds across the sky,
thought of the invisible work that stitches up the world day and night,
the slow, unglamorous work of healing,
the way worms in the garden
tunnel ceaselessly so the earth can breathe
and bees ransack this world into being,
while owls and poets stalk shadows,
our loneliest labors under the moon.
 
There are mothers
for everything, and the sea
is a mother too,
whispering and whispering to us
long after we have stopped listening.
 
I stopped and let myself lean
a moment, against the blue
shoulder of the air. The work
of my heart
is the work of the world's heart.
There is no other art.

​Meme of the Week: ​​
Picture

Quote that is Inspiring Me: "The body knows things a long time before the mind catches up to them." - Sue Monk Kidd

I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.  ​​
0 Comments
<<Previous

    Welcome

    I'm Kerry (She/Her/Hers) and I am a licensed therapist, group facilitator, poet, writer, & speaker. This is a place to acknowledge and validate our suffering and trauma, while also learning how to turn toward aliveness and spaciousness. 

    Kerry J Heckman

    Categories

    All
    Book Reviews
    Columns
    Guest Posts
    Healing Words
    Publications
    Tuning In

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016

    RSS Feed

      SIGN UP BY EMAIL

    Subscribe
Copyright © 2022 Kerry J Heckman All rights reserved. Disclaimer.

    Sign up For Newsletter

Subscribe
  • Blog
  • About
  • Therapy & Groups
  • Resources
  • Writing
  • Poetry
  • Speaking
  • Contact
  • Disclaimer