KERRY J HECKMAN, LICSW
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Tuning In May 2022

5/1/2022

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Each month I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:

Facilitating: 
Center for Chronic Illness - Web-Based Rare Chronic Illness Support Group Tuesday May 3rd, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Thyroid Eye Disease Support Group Tuesday May 3rd, 2022 at 6pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday May 18th, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Supporting Loved Ones with Cystinosis. Tuesday May 18th, 2022 at 6pm PST

National Days: 
May 1st is May Day 
May 3rd is National Foster Care Day 
May 4th is National Star Ways Day 
May 5th is Cinco De Mayo 
May 6th is National Nurses Day 
May 8th is Mother's Day 
May 12th is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day 
May 20th is National Rescue Dog Day 
May 30th is Memorial Day and World Multiple Sclerosis Day 

 
National Weeks: 
May 2nd-May 8th is National Pet Week & Teacher Appreciation Week 
May 6th-May 12th is Nurses Week 


National Months: 
Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month 
National Lyme Disease Awareness Month 
National Mental Health Awareness Month 
Skin Cancer Awareness Month 

Dear Valued Community,

I started Physical Therapy in The Feldenkrais Method recently. In a way, it is physical therapy for the nervous system—my physical therapist has a conversation with my body, bypassing cognition as much as possible and I ask my cognition to take a back seat while I focus on the sensation of movement in my body. 

What strikes me the most from these sessions is how my physical therapist explains fixed action patterns in the nervous system that show up in the bones, muscles, tendons, etc. These fixed action patterns also show up in our cognition—thoughts and beliefs that are reinforced over and over until they are second nature. 

My biggest takeaway so far is that fixed action patterns are not wrong or bad, in fact, there is likely a reason the nervous system relied so heavily on them. But ultimately we need to learn other patterns, so that tension doesn't build up from overuse. We don't need to give up our defenses completely, we simply need to learn alternatives, so that we don't rely too heavily on patterns that may not be the best choice in that moment.

With gratitude, 

Kerry ​
Picture
Rhododendrons in West Seattle

Nervous System Healing​: 

​Ideas for Grounding: As the summer approaches, imagine ways of grounding that are consistent with warmer weather and the ability to be outside. Warmth and sunshine are very grounding. Try finding a patch of grass in the sun and feeling the warmth on your skin or finding a new park to explore. 

Ideas for Connection: Summer usually means a more active social calendar, but remember that you don't have to do everything all at once. Tune into your internal rhythms to know when to make plans and when to take time for yourself.  
​
Ideas for Creating Vitality: Summer is also a time of longer daylight and sometimes more energy. Tap into those things that give you vitality that maybe weren't available in the winter months: barbecues, swimming, walks on the beach, hiking, etc. 
​
Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. It's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
Cherry Blossoms in the University of Washington Quad

What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

"Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma provides psychotherapists and other helping professionals with a new body-based clinical model for the treatment of trauma. This model synthesizes emerging neurobiological and attachment research with somatic, embodied healing practices. Tested with hundreds of practitioners in courses for more than a decade, the principles and practices presented here empower helping professionals to effectively treat people with trauma while experiencing a sense of mutuality and personal growth themselves." 

What I'm Reading for Fun: Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Mind & Shape Our Futures by Merlin Sheldrake 
​

"When we think of fungi, we likely think of mushrooms. But mushrooms are only fruiting bodies, analogous to apples on a tree. Most fungi live out of sight, yet make up a massively diverse kingdom of organisms that supports and sustains nearly all living systems. Fungi provide a key to understanding the planet on which we live, and the ways we think, feel, and behave.

In Entangled Life, the brilliant young biologist Merlin Sheldrake shows us the world from a fungal point of view, providing an exhilarating change of perspective. Sheldrake’s vivid exploration takes us from yeast to psychedelics, to the fungi that range for miles underground and are the largest organisms on the planet, to those that link plants together in complex networks known as the "Wood Wide Web," to those that infiltrate and manipulate insect bodies with devastating precision.

Fungi throw our concepts of individuality and even intelligence into question. They are metabolic masters, earth makers, and key players in most of life's processes. They can change our minds, heal our bodies, and even help us remediate environmental disaster. By examining fungi on their own terms, Sheldrake reveals how these extraordinary organisms—and our relationships with them—are changing our understanding of how life works."
​

(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not always change monthly) ​
​
TV Show I'm Watching: 
WeCrashed on HBOMax 

Documentary I'm Watching: Bad Vegan on Netflix 

Song on Repeat: More Love by The Chicks 
​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, HeartMath training,  biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
Tulips in West Seattle

Poem: 
​
Understory
by Mark Nepo

I've been watching stars
rely on the darkness they
resist. And fish struggle with
and against the current. And
hawks glide faster when their
wings don't move.

Still I keep retelling what
happens till it comes out
the way I want.

We try so hard to be the
main character when it is
our point of view that
keeps us from the truth.

The sun has its story
that no curtain can stop.

It's true. The only way beyond
the self is through it. The only
way to listen to what can never
be said is to quiet our need
to steer the plot.

When jarred by life, we might
unravel the story we tell ourselves
and discover the story we are in,
the one that keeps telling us.

Meme of the Month: ​
Picture

​Quote of the Month: "One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day." - Unknown 
​
​I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.
0 Comments

Tuning In April 2022

4/1/2022

0 Comments

 
Each month I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:

Facilitating: 
Center for Chronic Illness - Web-Based Rare Chronic Illness Support Group Tuesday April 5th, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Thyroid Eye Disease Support Group Tuesday April 5th, 2022 at 6pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday April 19th, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Caring for Loved Ones with Thyroid Eye Disease, Tuesday April 19th, 2022 at 6pm PST

National Days: 
April 1st is April Fool's Day 
April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day 
April 5th is National Library Workers Day & National Deep Dish Pizza Day 
April 11th is National Pet Day 
April 15th is National Tax Day & Good Friday 
April 17th is Easter & National Haiku Poetry Day 
April 22nd is Earth Day & National Day of Silence 
April 27th is National Administrative Professionals' Day
April 29th is Arbor Day 
April 30th is Adopt a Shelter Dog Day  
 
National Weeks: 
April 3rd-April 9th is National Library Week 

National Months: 
National Autism Awareness Month 
National Parkinson's Awareness Month 
National Poetry Month 
Sexual Assault Awareness Month 


Dear Valued Community,

This is a strange time in our history. We are in another valley of the pandemic. There is the possibility of more peaks, but we are unsure what that will look like. To me, the ground feels both unstable and stable at the same time, which is probably the best anyone can hope for at any given time. How are you managing uncertainty right now?   


With gratitude, 

Kerry ​
Picture
Lincoln Park in West Seattle

​Nervous System Healing​: 

​Ideas for Grounding: Many associate April with rain. Probably from the well-known saying April showers bring may flowers. The image of light falling rain is a resource I frequently use in grounding. Imagine in your mind's eye water slowly falling from the sky, notice how it feels in your body. The next time it rains near you, take a moment to look out the window and watch it fall (or better yet, go outside and feel it fall) and take it in with all of your senses. 

Ideas for Connection: Perhaps you've heard of the phrase "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good." This applies to connection as well as most things in life. People are flawed. We all have wounds that show themselves in relationships. Expecting the people in your life to be perfect or behave perfectly will result in fewer and fewer relationships. Instead practice acceptance and grace for others' imperfections and it will translate to acceptance and grace for your own imperfections. This of course does not apply to patterns of abusive or toxic behavior, but people will let us down and also bring us up when we least expect it. 
​
Ideas for Creating Vitality:  Similar to being cautious about expecting perfection in our connections, be cautious about how perfectionism is stifling your vitality. Contrary to how many of us think, vitality does not arise from achieving a state of perfection. Vitality comes from small daily moments of engaging with things we enjoy or small daily moments in which we are moving closer to our desires. The winding, spontaneous path is part of what makes it vital. 
​
Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. It's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
Lincoln Park in West Seattle

What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

"Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma provides psychotherapists and other helping professionals with a new body-based clinical model for the treatment of trauma. This model synthesizes emerging neurobiological and attachment research with somatic, embodied healing practices. Tested with hundreds of practitioners in courses for more than a decade, the principles and practices presented here empower helping professionals to effectively treat people with trauma while experiencing a sense of mutuality and personal growth themselves." 

What I'm Reading for Fun: The Keeper of Happy Endings by Barbara Davis 
​

"Soline Roussel is well schooled in the business of happy endings. For generations her family has kept an exclusive bridal salon in Paris, where magic is worked with needle and thread. It’s said that the bride who wears a Roussel gown is guaranteed a lifetime of joy. But devastating losses during World War II leave Soline's world and heart in ruins and her faith in love shaken. She boxes up her memories, stowing them away, along with her broken dreams, determined to forget.

Decades later, while coping with her own tragic loss, aspiring gallery owner Rory Grant leases Soline's old property and discovers a box containing letters and a vintage wedding dress, never worn. When Rory returns the mementos, an unlikely friendship develops, and eerie parallels in Rory's and Soline's lives begin to surface. It's clear that they were destined to meet―and that Rory may hold the key to righting a forty-year wrong and opening the door to shared healing and, perhaps, a little magic." 
​

(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not always change monthly) ​
​
TV Show I'm Watching: 
Kevin Can F*** Himself on AMC+

Movie I'm Watching: The Power of the Dog on Netflix 

Song on Repeat: Anthem by Leonard Cohen 
​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, HeartMath training,  biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
Flowering Tree in West Seattle

​Poem: 
​
I Give You Back
by Joy Harjo
 
I release you, my beautiful and terrible
fear. I release you. You were my beloved
and hated twin, but now, I don’t know you
as myself. I release you with all the
pain I would know at the death of
my children.
 
You are not my blood anymore.
 
I give you back to the soldiers
who burned down my house, beheaded my children,
raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters.
I give you back to those who stole the
food from our plates when we were starving.
 
I release you, fear, because you hold
these scenes in front of me and I was born
with eyes that can never close.
 
I release you
I release you
I release you
I release you
 
I am not afraid to be angry.
I am not afraid to rejoice.
I am not afraid to be black.
I am not afraid to be white.
I am not afraid to be hungry.
I am not afraid to be full.
I am not afraid to be hated.
I am not afraid to be loved.
 
to be loved, to be loved, fear.
 
Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.
You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.
 
I take myself back, fear.
You are not my shadow any longer.
I won’t hold you in my hands.
You can’t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice
my belly, or in my heart my heart
my heart my heart
 
But come here, fear
I am alive and you are so afraid
                                            of dying.

Meme of the Month: 
Picture

​Quote of the Month: "'Dear old world,’ she murmured, ‘you are very lovely, and I am glad to be alive in you.’” - L.M. Montgomery
​
​I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.
0 Comments

Tuning In March 2022

3/1/2022

0 Comments

 
Each month I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:

Facilitating: 
Center for Chronic Illness - Web-Based Rare Chronic Illness Support Group March 1st, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Thyroid Eye Disease Support Group Saturday, March 20th, 2022 at 9am PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Parenting Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday March 15th, 2022 at 2:30pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday March 15, 2022 at 4pm PST

National Days: 
March 1st is National Self-Injury Awareness Day 
March 4th is National Employee Appreciation Day 
March 8th is International Women's Day 
March 9th is National Registered Dietician Nutritionist Day
March 10th is Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day 
March 13th is Daylight Savings Time 
March 14th is Pi Day & National Napping Day 
March 15th is World Social Work Day 
March 17th is St. Patrick's Day 
March 19th is Certified Nurses Day 
March 20th Spring Begins 
March 21st is World Down Syndrome Day 
March 23rd is National Puppy Day 
March 24th is National Equal Pay Day 
March 30th is National Doctors Day & Manatee Appreciation Day 
 
National Weeks: 
March 6th-March 12th is International Women's Week & National School Social Workers Week

National Months: 
National Women's History Month 
Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month 
National Brain Injury Awareness Month 
​National Social Work Month 

Dear Valued Community,

March means the official arrival of spring if you live north of the equator. The time when flowers start to bloom and buds arrive on the trees. In Seattle, mid-March through mid-April is one of my favorite times of year—cherry blossom season. All over the city rows of trees sprout beautiful pink blossoms. While we continue to live with so much uncertainty, it is certain that seasons will change and the vegetation will grow. Take a moment to reflect on this transition and notice what it is like for you as the seasons change. 

With gratitude, 

Kerry ​
Picture
Daffodils in West Seattle

Nervous System Healing: 

​Ideas for Grounding: Because transitions have the potential to be disruptive, it is even more important to ground when the seasons change or Daylight Savings Time begins. Examine your routine for ways to stay grounded in it. Slowly adjust to the time change and slowly adjust your activity level from the quieter months of the winter to the more active months of the spring and summer. Notice what throws off your routine and how long it takes you to return to it. This will help you have a better idea of how much you can stretch it at any given time.  
​
Ideas for Connection: Here we go again. It feels like a Merry Go 'Round we can't get off. As we enter into the warmer months and the number of covid cases decline, we again hope that connection will be safer. I will offer some of the same advice as in spring of 2021. Move slowly. You don't have to see everyone and do everything all at once. Move in the rhythm that feels right and sustainable for you. 
​
Ideas for Creating Vitality: Spring is synonymous with vitality. Vitality is feeling alive and in spring so much is coming alive. This is a good time to tune into the vitality of nature. Maybe you want to try your hand at gardening or explore houseplants. Maybe it's more walks outside or even just opening your windows when the weather allows. Find small ways to connect to the life-giving properties of the natural world.

Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. It's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
Boats on Camano Island, Washington

What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

"Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma provides psychotherapists and other helping professionals with a new body-based clinical model for the treatment of trauma. This model synthesizes emerging neurobiological and attachment research with somatic, embodied healing practices. Tested with hundreds of practitioners in courses for more than a decade, the principles and practices presented here empower helping professionals to effectively treat people with trauma while experiencing a sense of mutuality and personal growth themselves." 

What I'm Reading for Fun: Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe 

"A grand, devastating portrait of three generations of the Sackler family, famed for the their philanthropy, whose fortune was built by Valium and whose reputation was destroyed by OxyContin." 


(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not always change monthly) ​

Podcast Episode with Impact: Maintenance Phase "Anti-Fat Bias" 
​
TV Show I'm Watching: 
Inventing Anna on Netflix 

Movie I'm Watching: CODA on AppleTV

Song on Repeat: "Surface Pressure" by Jessica Darrow from Disney's Encanto
​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, HeartMath training,  biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
Scooter being curious about Puget Sound

Poem: 
​
For Someone Awakening to the Trauma of His or Her Past
by John O’Donohue 

For everything under the sun there is a time. 
This is the season of your awkward harvesting, 
When pain takes you where you would rather 
not go, 

Through the white curtain of yesterdays to a place
You had forgotten you knew from the inside out; 
And a time when that bitter tree was planted

That has grown always invisibly beside you
And whose branches your awakened hands
Now long to disentangle from your heart. 

You are coming to see how your looking often
    Darkened
When you should have felt safe enough to fall
    toward love,
How deep down your eyes were always owned by 
    something 

That faced them through a dark fester of thorns
Converting whoever came into a further figure of
    the wrong;
You could only see what touch you as already 
    torn.

Now the act of seeing begins your work of
    mourning. 

And you memory is ready to show you everything, 
Having waiting all these years for you to return and 
    know. 

Only you know where the casket of pain is interred. 
You will have to scrape through all the layers of 
    covering. 
And according to your readiness, everything will 
    be open. 

May you be blessed with a wise and compassionate
    guide. 
Who can accompany you through the fear and grief. 
Until your heart has wept its way to your true self. 

As your tears fall over that wounded place, 
May they wash away your hurt and free your heart. 
May your forgiveness still the hunger of the wound. 

So that for the first time you can walk away from 
    that place, 
Reunited with your banished heart, now healed and
    freed, 
And feel the clear, free air bless your new face. 

Meme of the Month: A wish for you...​
Picture

​Quote of the Month: "Like wildflowers, grow in all the places people thought you never would." - Unknown 
​
​I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.
0 Comments
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    Welcome

    I'm Kerry (She/Her/Hers) and I am a licensed therapist, group facilitator, poet, writer, & speaker. This is a place to acknowledge and validate our suffering and trauma, while also learning how to turn toward aliveness and spaciousness. 

    Kerry J Heckman

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