KERRY J HECKMAN, LICSW
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Tuning In April 2022

4/1/2022

0 Comments

 
Each month I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:

Facilitating: 
Center for Chronic Illness - Web-Based Rare Chronic Illness Support Group Tuesday April 5th, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Thyroid Eye Disease Support Group Tuesday April 5th, 2022 at 6pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday April 19th, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Caring for Loved Ones with Thyroid Eye Disease, Tuesday April 19th, 2022 at 6pm PST

National Days: 
April 1st is April Fool's Day 
April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day 
April 5th is National Library Workers Day & National Deep Dish Pizza Day 
April 11th is National Pet Day 
April 15th is National Tax Day & Good Friday 
April 17th is Easter & National Haiku Poetry Day 
April 22nd is Earth Day & National Day of Silence 
April 27th is National Administrative Professionals' Day
April 29th is Arbor Day 
April 30th is Adopt a Shelter Dog Day  
 
National Weeks: 
April 3rd-April 9th is National Library Week 

National Months: 
National Autism Awareness Month 
National Parkinson's Awareness Month 
National Poetry Month 
Sexual Assault Awareness Month 


Dear Valued Community,

This is a strange time in our history. We are in another valley of the pandemic. There is the possibility of more peaks, but we are unsure what that will look like. To me, the ground feels both unstable and stable at the same time, which is probably the best anyone can hope for at any given time. How are you managing uncertainty right now?   


With gratitude, 

Kerry ​
Picture
Lincoln Park in West Seattle

​Nervous System Healing​: 

​Ideas for Grounding: Many associate April with rain. Probably from the well-known saying April showers bring may flowers. The image of light falling rain is a resource I frequently use in grounding. Imagine in your mind's eye water slowly falling from the sky, notice how it feels in your body. The next time it rains near you, take a moment to look out the window and watch it fall (or better yet, go outside and feel it fall) and take it in with all of your senses. 

Ideas for Connection: Perhaps you've heard of the phrase "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good." This applies to connection as well as most things in life. People are flawed. We all have wounds that show themselves in relationships. Expecting the people in your life to be perfect or behave perfectly will result in fewer and fewer relationships. Instead practice acceptance and grace for others' imperfections and it will translate to acceptance and grace for your own imperfections. This of course does not apply to patterns of abusive or toxic behavior, but people will let us down and also bring us up when we least expect it. 
​
Ideas for Creating Vitality:  Similar to being cautious about expecting perfection in our connections, be cautious about how perfectionism is stifling your vitality. Contrary to how many of us think, vitality does not arise from achieving a state of perfection. Vitality comes from small daily moments of engaging with things we enjoy or small daily moments in which we are moving closer to our desires. The winding, spontaneous path is part of what makes it vital. 
​
Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. It's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
Lincoln Park in West Seattle

What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

"Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma provides psychotherapists and other helping professionals with a new body-based clinical model for the treatment of trauma. This model synthesizes emerging neurobiological and attachment research with somatic, embodied healing practices. Tested with hundreds of practitioners in courses for more than a decade, the principles and practices presented here empower helping professionals to effectively treat people with trauma while experiencing a sense of mutuality and personal growth themselves." 

What I'm Reading for Fun: The Keeper of Happy Endings by Barbara Davis 
​

"Soline Roussel is well schooled in the business of happy endings. For generations her family has kept an exclusive bridal salon in Paris, where magic is worked with needle and thread. It’s said that the bride who wears a Roussel gown is guaranteed a lifetime of joy. But devastating losses during World War II leave Soline's world and heart in ruins and her faith in love shaken. She boxes up her memories, stowing them away, along with her broken dreams, determined to forget.

Decades later, while coping with her own tragic loss, aspiring gallery owner Rory Grant leases Soline's old property and discovers a box containing letters and a vintage wedding dress, never worn. When Rory returns the mementos, an unlikely friendship develops, and eerie parallels in Rory's and Soline's lives begin to surface. It's clear that they were destined to meet―and that Rory may hold the key to righting a forty-year wrong and opening the door to shared healing and, perhaps, a little magic." 
​

(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not always change monthly) ​
​
TV Show I'm Watching: 
Kevin Can F*** Himself on AMC+

Movie I'm Watching: The Power of the Dog on Netflix 

Song on Repeat: Anthem by Leonard Cohen 
​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, HeartMath training,  biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
Flowering Tree in West Seattle

​Poem: 
​
I Give You Back
by Joy Harjo
 
I release you, my beautiful and terrible
fear. I release you. You were my beloved
and hated twin, but now, I don’t know you
as myself. I release you with all the
pain I would know at the death of
my children.
 
You are not my blood anymore.
 
I give you back to the soldiers
who burned down my house, beheaded my children,
raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters.
I give you back to those who stole the
food from our plates when we were starving.
 
I release you, fear, because you hold
these scenes in front of me and I was born
with eyes that can never close.
 
I release you
I release you
I release you
I release you
 
I am not afraid to be angry.
I am not afraid to rejoice.
I am not afraid to be black.
I am not afraid to be white.
I am not afraid to be hungry.
I am not afraid to be full.
I am not afraid to be hated.
I am not afraid to be loved.
 
to be loved, to be loved, fear.
 
Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.
You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.
 
I take myself back, fear.
You are not my shadow any longer.
I won’t hold you in my hands.
You can’t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice
my belly, or in my heart my heart
my heart my heart
 
But come here, fear
I am alive and you are so afraid
                                            of dying.

Meme of the Month: 
Picture

​Quote of the Month: "'Dear old world,’ she murmured, ‘you are very lovely, and I am glad to be alive in you.’” - L.M. Montgomery
​
​I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.
0 Comments

Tuning In March 2022

3/1/2022

0 Comments

 
Each month I post an update called Tuning In on what I'm up to and ideas for grounding, connection, and discovering vitality in your life. Most of the links on this post are informational only, but a few are affiliate links that help me keep up my website. 

Events:

Facilitating: 
Center for Chronic Illness - Web-Based Rare Chronic Illness Support Group March 1st, 2022 at 4pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Thyroid Eye Disease Support Group Saturday, March 20th, 2022 at 9am PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Parenting Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday March 15th, 2022 at 2:30pm PST
Center for Chronic Illness - Living with Cystinosis Web-Based Support Group, Tuesday March 15, 2022 at 4pm PST

National Days: 
March 1st is National Self-Injury Awareness Day 
March 4th is National Employee Appreciation Day 
March 8th is International Women's Day 
March 9th is National Registered Dietician Nutritionist Day
March 10th is Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day 
March 13th is Daylight Savings Time 
March 14th is Pi Day & National Napping Day 
March 15th is World Social Work Day 
March 17th is St. Patrick's Day 
March 19th is Certified Nurses Day 
March 20th Spring Begins 
March 21st is World Down Syndrome Day 
March 23rd is National Puppy Day 
March 24th is National Equal Pay Day 
March 30th is National Doctors Day & Manatee Appreciation Day 
 
National Weeks: 
March 6th-March 12th is International Women's Week & National School Social Workers Week

National Months: 
National Women's History Month 
Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month 
National Brain Injury Awareness Month 
​National Social Work Month 

Dear Valued Community,

March means the official arrival of spring if you live north of the equator. The time when flowers start to bloom and buds arrive on the trees. In Seattle, mid-March through mid-April is one of my favorite times of year—cherry blossom season. All over the city rows of trees sprout beautiful pink blossoms. While we continue to live with so much uncertainty, it is certain that seasons will change and the vegetation will grow. Take a moment to reflect on this transition and notice what it is like for you as the seasons change. 

With gratitude, 

Kerry ​
Picture
Daffodils in West Seattle

Nervous System Healing: 

​Ideas for Grounding: Because transitions have the potential to be disruptive, it is even more important to ground when the seasons change or Daylight Savings Time begins. Examine your routine for ways to stay grounded in it. Slowly adjust to the time change and slowly adjust your activity level from the quieter months of the winter to the more active months of the spring and summer. Notice what throws off your routine and how long it takes you to return to it. This will help you have a better idea of how much you can stretch it at any given time.  
​
Ideas for Connection: Here we go again. It feels like a Merry Go 'Round we can't get off. As we enter into the warmer months and the number of covid cases decline, we again hope that connection will be safer. I will offer some of the same advice as in spring of 2021. Move slowly. You don't have to see everyone and do everything all at once. Move in the rhythm that feels right and sustainable for you. 
​
Ideas for Creating Vitality: Spring is synonymous with vitality. Vitality is feeling alive and in spring so much is coming alive. This is a good time to tune into the vitality of nature. Maybe you want to try your hand at gardening or explore houseplants. Maybe it's more walks outside or even just opening your windows when the weather allows. Find small ways to connect to the life-giving properties of the natural world.

Why grounding, connection, and vitality? Because these are the ways we regulate the nervous system. Spending intentional time in a regulated state allows our nervous system to wire in the direction of safety and aliveness. It's a big piece of the puzzle of how we repair the survival response of trauma.
Picture
Boats on Camano Island, Washington

What I'm Reading Related for Therapy: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past by Sharon Stanley 

"Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma provides psychotherapists and other helping professionals with a new body-based clinical model for the treatment of trauma. This model synthesizes emerging neurobiological and attachment research with somatic, embodied healing practices. Tested with hundreds of practitioners in courses for more than a decade, the principles and practices presented here empower helping professionals to effectively treat people with trauma while experiencing a sense of mutuality and personal growth themselves." 

What I'm Reading for Fun: Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe 

"A grand, devastating portrait of three generations of the Sackler family, famed for the their philanthropy, whose fortune was built by Valium and whose reputation was destroyed by OxyContin." 


(I'm a proud member of the sloth reading club, so what I'm reading will not always change monthly) ​

Podcast Episode with Impact: Maintenance Phase "Anti-Fat Bias" 
​
TV Show I'm Watching: 
Inventing Anna on Netflix 

Movie I'm Watching: CODA on AppleTV

Song on Repeat: "Surface Pressure" by Jessica Darrow from Disney's Encanto
​
Projects I'm Working On: Self-development book on trauma and worthiness, book of poetry, ongoing content for various publications. Considering next steps in career training—psychedelic assisted therapy, HeartMath training,  biblio/poetry therapy training, or yoga teacher training. ​
Picture
Scooter being curious about Puget Sound

Poem: 
​
For Someone Awakening to the Trauma of His or Her Past
by John O’Donohue 

For everything under the sun there is a time. 
This is the season of your awkward harvesting, 
When pain takes you where you would rather 
not go, 

Through the white curtain of yesterdays to a place
You had forgotten you knew from the inside out; 
And a time when that bitter tree was planted

That has grown always invisibly beside you
And whose branches your awakened hands
Now long to disentangle from your heart. 

You are coming to see how your looking often
    Darkened
When you should have felt safe enough to fall
    toward love,
How deep down your eyes were always owned by 
    something 

That faced them through a dark fester of thorns
Converting whoever came into a further figure of
    the wrong;
You could only see what touch you as already 
    torn.

Now the act of seeing begins your work of
    mourning. 

And you memory is ready to show you everything, 
Having waiting all these years for you to return and 
    know. 

Only you know where the casket of pain is interred. 
You will have to scrape through all the layers of 
    covering. 
And according to your readiness, everything will 
    be open. 

May you be blessed with a wise and compassionate
    guide. 
Who can accompany you through the fear and grief. 
Until your heart has wept its way to your true self. 

As your tears fall over that wounded place, 
May they wash away your hurt and free your heart. 
May your forgiveness still the hunger of the wound. 

So that for the first time you can walk away from 
    that place, 
Reunited with your banished heart, now healed and
    freed, 
And feel the clear, free air bless your new face. 

Meme of the Month: A wish for you...​
Picture

​Quote of the Month: "Like wildflowers, grow in all the places people thought you never would." - Unknown 
​
​I'd love to hear how you are grounding, connecting, and creating vitality. What is helping you feel calm and alive? Or comment below on what books, podcasts, songs, shows, poetry, or quotes are resonating with you right now.
0 Comments

Mindfulness Home Design 2022: Expert Tips to Inspire Mindfulness at Home

2/7/2022

0 Comments

 
Note: This article was originally published on the Redfin Blog on January 30th, 2022. 

We all strive to have a haven that brings us peace, security, and tranquility. However, amidst all the day-to-day tasks and responsibilities that pop up in our lives, oftentimes it can be hard to take a break, center ourselves, and focus on mindfulness. Having a dedicated space or bringing in items and decor that inspire mindfulness into our homes can serve as a reminder to take a breath and focus on what is going on around us. To help you get started, we reached out to mindfulness experts across Chicago, IL to Kelowna, BC to give us their best tips to inspire mindfulness at home. From emphasizing things that create heat to incorporating plants into your decor, keep reading to see what they had to say.
Picture

1. Choose quality items and decorations that make you happy
Don’t buy into short-term decor trends, instead choose what makes you happy, invest in quality items, and play with the idea of creating mini zones throughout your space such as a meditation, reading, or yoga corner, always ready for you to plug into. – Sabrina Weber of Femme Du Soleil

​2. Identify a designated mindfulness space 
The first step to cultivating mindfulness at home is identifying a designated (and nonnegotiable) mindfulness space. Intentionally creating a special space for mindfulness will help you practice it more consistently, effectively, and comfortably. So, whether you're designing an elaborate meditation loft, or just trying to make the corner of your bedroom a little more zen, it's important to make that space sacred. – Loretta Turner, MA, CNP, Certified Mindfulness Coach

3. Emphasize things that create heat 
Heat is pleasant and regulating for our mind, body, and spirit, and brings us back into the present moment. Emphasize things in your home that bring you heat. For example, the bathtub, a fireplace, heated blankets, or a tea kettle. Bring more things into your home that can provide you warmth when you need it. – Kerry J Heckman, Therapist

4. Try sound healing 
Sound healing is an ancient healing art that is making a modern resurgence. Having Bluetooth speakers in each room of the home playing calming, peaceful, or joyful music can bring mindfulness to whatever you’re doing.
​– 
Empowered Meditation and Sound Healing

5. Try a diffuser, soft textures, and energizing plants 
​
Though our minds may wander throughout the day, our external space can serve as a reminder to mindfully reconnect with our internal space – a diffuser with your favorite scent, soft textures around you, energizing plants, and objects that remind you of our values. A space created with mindful intention has the power to bring us back to the here and now and to experience life more fully and peacefully. – Elizabeth Alli, Founder at DesignerUp

6. Incorporate natural elements into your home 
​
Be sure to add natural materials, plants, and water features to your designs, keep clutter to a minimum, and consider carving out a comfortable spot to create a relaxation retreat. There are even products that can help you see how your brain responds to different paint colors, scents, views, and decor as you plan your new, calming designs. – FocusCalm

7. Introduce mindful self-compassion into your space 
Turn your home into a sanctuary by introducing mindful self-compassion into your space. Add elements that soothe and comfort – faux fur blankets, a warm fire, comfy pillows, an essential oil diffuser, gentle music, warm lights, and soft colors. Place a hand over your heart as you listen to soft sounds, take in the healing scents, and sink into the comfort you’ve created.
​– The Counseling and Mindfulness Group
Picture

8. Incorporate house plants into your decor
Bringing a snippet of nature indoors by incorporating houseplants into your decor is a simple and easy way to create a mindfulness space. There are many options to complement your personal style. – Mindful Modern Living

9. Create mindful living by decluttering 
Clutter in the home can be distracting. My favorite way to create a mindful living space is to simplify it without limiting the colors, textures, or designs.
– 
Alex G Shearer

10. Make sure your space reflects your personality 
Create a home that is true to who you are. Mindfulness begins by being in tune with things that speak to you. It’s easy to fall into design trends, so always make sure that it is true to who you are so that your space reflects your personality and in doing so, creates a peaceful retreat. – Emmygination

11. Incorporate natural surroundings to help you be present 
Creating a dedicated spot in your home for contemplation and meditation is a simple way to commit to daily mindfulness practice. Incorporating your natural surroundings can help you tune in and become fully present, for example, placing a chair in front of a sunny window. You can devote time to paying attention to the sensation of the sun on your face as a focal point for your meditation. – mindful.nyc

12. Declutter and organize your home
Clutter and disorganization can cause stress and anxiety. You may be able to improve your mood and mental clarity by simply removing things that no longer fit your home and making space for things that do.
– 
Kady Brown Interiors 

13. Pay attention to the purpose of your spaces 
Mindful design is about paying attention, tuning into what each room within the home’s purpose is, and how it supports those living in the home. Mindful design is about creating a sense of balance within each room and the home as a whole. We can use elements like plants, natural lighting, scents, and colors to create the feeling, look, and vibe we each need to balance and thrive in life. – Nourished Home
​

14. Find a corner where you can set up items that make you calm 
​
As a business owner, movement instructor, and busy mom, creating space for a mindfulness practice has been key in keeping me balanced and grounded. To help set the tone for a mindful practice in your own home, find a corner where you can set up a few things that bring you a sense of calm such as a yoga mat, candles, and a journal. Even placing these items in a small basket in the corner of your bedroom will remind you to take 5, get down on the floor, and breathe. – Mindful Movement with Maggie
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15. Create tech-free zones 
Allow your home to be as conducive as possible to living mindfully, create zones within your home that are completely tech-free, and give you the opportunity to “just be” rather than always doing. This could look like the kitchen bench or breakfast bar, so you enjoy present conversations with your family to start the day while making breakfast or your morning brew or a nook complete with a rocking chair facing a window or door with a view or a leafy outlook. Have a side table for your drink or journal, a plant to inspire mindfulness, books or mags within easy reach, a lamp, and even a cozy blanket. – Slow Coaching Co.
​

16. Use the three-step mindfulness practice – Pause, breathe, and notice
At each step of the decorating process, whether you are sitting down to begin planning your project or deep in the midst of making final color and layout choices, pause and breathe, feeling sensations in your body as you take three, slow, deeper breaths, then notice what decor choices feel truly pleasant and supportive to you. Try this practice to tune into your own natural, inner wisdom or home designer, to let go of ideas about how your space ‘should’ be, and discover how to create a space that supports the authentic life you dream of. – Julie Woodward, MSW
​

17. Keep mindfulness practices accessible
If it's out of sight, it may very likely be out of mind. If you love to practice seated mindful movement, you might try keeping your dedicated chair where you can see it often, free of any clutter. If you work from home and struggle to make time for breaks, you might try keeping a mindful chime on your desk to remind you to take an informal 5-minute mindful moment. If you want to be more intentional in practicing compassion mindfulness, you might try keeping your mindfulness journal on your coffee table where you sit and drink your coffee in the morning. – Mindfulness First

18. Embrace indoor-outdoor living
For decompressing, we have a sauna and a steam shower, as well as a saltwater pool that we keep on the warmer side to float in for relaxation. I also think it’s important to embrace an indoor/outdoor connection not just with plants, but with a design element that feels like you’re bringing nature in. For example, we have a large accordion door that opens up to the backyard from our main living space and in our bathroom, we choose a tile that looks almost wood-like surrounding the bathtub that I like to soak in after a long day. – Mindfulness Matters 
​

19. Keep a pen and notepad close to you
Place a pretty jar or container with a notepad and pen in a central location in your home and take the time to jot down simple words and phrases that represent moments of gratitude or creativity, brilliant ideas, sincere emotion, and affirmations. Multiply these "mindful moments" by designating a time each week to reflect on the notes in your jar, recalling how you felt about each one at the moment you wrote it, and noticing how you feel about it now. Living mindfully often requires a willingness to slow down and capture these small, yet meaningful moments amid the busyness and to-do lists of every day, which in turn helps cultivate a sense of ease, accomplishment, happiness, and peace. – HomeGirl by Design
​

LEGAL: This article is for informational purposes only. Individual results may vary. Redfin is not affiliated with nor endorses or guarantees any of the individuals, resources or websites mentioned. 

Redfin does not provide medical advice. This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your health. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on Redfin’s blog.

"Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience." - Ralph Waldo Emerson ​
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    Welcome

    I'm Kerry (She/Her/Hers) and I am a licensed therapist, group facilitator, poet, writer, & speaker. This is a place to acknowledge and validate our suffering and trauma, while also learning how to turn toward aliveness and spaciousness. 

    Kerry J Heckman

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